006: blackbirds

He rode over Connectivut

In a glass coach

Once, a fear piereced him,

In that he mistook

The shadow of his equipage

For blackbirds.

This is one of the thirteen stanzas in Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird by Wallace Stevens.

In this stanza, the man was not simply scared or shaken by the sight of what he thought was a blackbird. He was “pierced”  – struck motionless and frozen – in his fear of these imaginary blackbirds. This man exhibits something that all humans have in common: a fear for the indecipherable.  Ever since our creation, we have built a structure of knowledge that transcends our own world and reality. We try to explain everything we know of – from everyday events, to our emotions, to the galaxies light years away, and everything in between. Man creates knowledge, and therefore society, all based on his imagination. People are praised for answering (or at least helping answer) the questions of humanity; Scientists and authors receive awards for discovering what no one else has.We are so used to knowing everything that the unknown and inexplicable are feared by us.

However, it is ironic that the same minds that create knowledge are what create the boundaries of humanity. The man in this stanza was so afraid “in that he mistook the shadow of its equipage for blackbirds.” He did not see an actual blackbird, but he just thought he had. From his mind, he had created his own fear. According to Alexander Popes “An Essay of Man,” humans are an isthmus connecting God and beast. We share the capacity to think like God but we are limited by our animal nature. The capacity of humans to think has no boundaries and limits, but the fears we create in our minds hold us back. Our fears capture us, tie us down, and keep us as their captives. They enslave us, blind us, and push us to the point of becoming barbaric and primitive.

Just as the man sits in a glass coach with a clear view of his surroundings, we can never hide ourselves from our fears. We cannot run away from the world and choose the things in life that we want to see. Whether we like it or not, we have to go through things that we have no control of, as if we are passengers in a coach. Although our glass coaches protect us as we are tossed around in them, they do not conceal us. The people outside can just as much see you as you can see them. They can see you in your weakest times and strongest; they can see when you are tied down by your fears. Everyone can see you when you are vulnerable.




today i took that test i mentioned in the previous blog entry! i still don’t know what to feel about how i did, but i know i can’t do anything anymore. there’s no point in beating myself up over something that is impossible for me to change. i can only hope for the best!!!

in unrelated news, i’m going to start using this blog as a venue for me to practice my writing. i seriously need to improve so expect more ~serious~ and hopefully insightful posts!


so tomorrow i will be taking a really really really really important test and i am a little nervous. just a little.

no but really, i am all jittery and stuff but i know i just have to accept whatever God has for me. (ugh, cheesy/generic/etc. but i am serious!!!)

WE CAN DO THIS, GOD! positivity!

003: in the land of heavenly pork buns and shopping

this weekend my family and i went on a vacation!!! it’s funny that we went on one in the middle of the school year. to make things funnier, a test that my FUTURE relies on is in 6 days! ha ha ha ha ha ha.

pretty much all we did there was eat and shop (and i’m not complaining one bit). we ate in REALLY good dimsum places, but my favorite will always be the pork buns. we ate in this one place in the middle of nowhere (seriously, it was in some old town and the restaurant looks like any other karinderia dimsum place except for its long line of people outside) and the baked pork buns there were the best thing EVER. the dough was sooo soft and it had this sweet crumbly layer on top. then the filling was SO DELICIOUS. the slices of pork were kinda big so it was a legit pork bun (you know how cheap pork buns are filled with cubes of “pork” and everything’s mushy? sometimes i think they fill it up with cat or something). I LOVE PORK BUNS!!!

aside from eating, shopping and walking around was fun. i love riding mtr’s in other countries hehe. and it was fun to spend time with my family and grandparents, etc.

so now you know how much i LOVE food and i think this post is getting too long.


OOoOoOoOo late night blogging~*~*~

today was pretty eventful and fun.
school ended at 12 in the afternoon today and all i did there was hear Mass and eat.
after school, i went to the mall with my friends Bea and Marga. we ate some more. i also bought a birthday card for my yaya (it’s her birthday on saturday). last year, my siblings and i forgot to greet her on her birthday. it was sad on so many levels… that’s why we’re making sure we don’t forget it anymore! she’s really old so we need to make the most out of the time we have with her.
i got home and reviewed for the college entrance exams. fun.
then i watched captain america with my siblings. i liked it. a lot. i’m really excited for the avengers.

so that was my day and that concludes my first official blog entry.